Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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