Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
