I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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