I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
