Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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