do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
