I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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