I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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