Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize