she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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