so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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