You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
