paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
