you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
