I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
