I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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