So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
