Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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