so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
