so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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