Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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