I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
