trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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