No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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