Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
