It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize