theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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