i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
