Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize