tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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