Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
