So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
