Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
