Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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