sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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