new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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