well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
