Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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