My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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