Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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