he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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