His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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