He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
