do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
