I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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