I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
