maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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