We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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