rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
