I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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