so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
