sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
