Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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