He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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