i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
