matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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