omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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