i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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