Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
