I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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