As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
