If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
