if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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