I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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