Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
