VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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